The Weight Game

South Beach, Weight Watchers, calorie counting.....you name it, I've probably done it over the last seven years. I've played the weight game with my scale for years. However, as I've written about before, I've found a way to self sabotaged and get right back to where I started (and then some). This time, it's different.

I've lost 51 lbs since the day I gave birth to Katie (including the baby herself of course) and I have not dieted.

Here's how:

• Emotional--I first and foremost got myself right emotionally. I faced my fears and grief. I didn't hide from it with giant pieces of food or binge until pain went away.
  
• Physical--I found a form of exercise I actually like. One that is both good for me physically, mentally, and emotionally. One that challenges me each day in my practice. I'm never bored with yoga. Currently, I'm doing a 60 day challenge with the #batshitcrazyyoga crew. Day 19 and I've done 12 classes. Not quite as good as the crazy other girls who are like 15 or 16 of 19 days, but I'm going. I'm getting stronger.
  
• The food--I stopped obsessing!! Imagine, I've let it go. I eat healthy and follow good principles--low carb or whole wheats, lots of salads, plenty of fruits and veggies, lean meats, limited sugar. I'm not perfect. This morning, I texted a girlfriend with "Screw it, I'm getting a chicken biscuit." I have stopped depriving myself and telling myself I CAN'T have the XYZ item I really wanted.
  Recently, I read a booked about breaking free from emotional eating. Oh boy is that me. I don't want an alcoholic beverage when I'm hurting or stressed, I want a big old milkshake! I found two major takeaways from this book: 1) Don't deprive. People like me don't do well with these uber restrictive diets because we turn it into a negative. I have a negative relationship with food. For example, as I've done many a time in the past, if I'm dieting a really restricting myself I might struggle if I see a cookie on the conference room table at work. I want the cookie. To avoid it, I might have eaten something else. Of course, this wouldn't satisfy me, so I would search for something else to eat. Ultimately, I would cave. I would eat the cookie. And then another. I would probably gorge and then feel SO guilty that I'd just ruined my day of eating. So, naturally, the next step was to think the day was completely ruined with food and continue to eat horribly the rest of the day. Then I would feel miserable! If I had just eaten the ONE cookie in the first place, I could have avoided all of that!! Maybe I would have only eaten half of it and felt the satisfaction. So, now, I eat the cookie. I don't gorge, I don't guilt. I allow myself the allowance of being human. I forgive myself if I feel a twinge of guilt, and I move on. I don't slip into the downward slip of eating poorly. I get myself right back on track.
  2) Stop before eating and evaluating WHY I am eating. How many of us simply eat out of boredom? *raising my hand!* Or how about eat because we're upset or stressed. *hi, me again.* Instead, the advice from the book was to STOP and ask yourself "Why do I want this? Am I bored or do I need a hug?" etc. "Do I really want to eat this?" If the answer is yes, I want this cookie, proceed to the first point. If not, find what you need to fix the emotional need without the food.
  

Seems so simple, doesn't it? I swear it has been life changing for me. I feel so good! I now am weighing in less than I have since Allie died and I'm still losing. I wear a loose size 10 and I'm on my way to a size 8. I bought MEDIUM yoga pants the other day. I haven't bought medium ANYTHING since I first got pregnant with Allie in 2003.

Most importantly, I FEEL good. I feel good about my body, my strength, my mental health. I feel GOOD.