Sunday, June 20, 2010

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Namaste

Right before I got pregnant with Katie, I was feeling pretty good about where I was with my weight and my body. I was fitting in size 10 (!!) jeans. I could typically purchase a large shirt and wasn't having to go into Lane Bryant anymore.

Then I got pregnant. And sick. Vomiting so much and very little stayed down. I found that greasy food was best. So, for months, I ate like a drunk with a hangover. It was better than vomiting (which had the added bonus of peeing my pants too after having birthed two other babies). I still got sick on an almost daily basis almost into my eighth month, so if I could eat it, I did.

Now, I am getting closer to losing my baby weight. However, as any of us who have had babies know, my body is no where near what it was before. I'm *this* close to fitting into my favorite size 12 jeans again. I can zip them and wear with a billowy top over it. But it aint so pretty.

I've lost 36 lbs of my 42 gained. So close yet I feel so, so far away from my goal. So, I'm trying some different things.

I've been back on South Beach religiously for two weeks. I've cut carbs, sugar, and even caffeine this time around. I've lost over five lbs in the last week and a half.

Now comes the exercise.

If you know me, you know that I don't like exercise. I've never found something that I liked. So, when Debbie told me she was LOVING hot yoga?!? I laughed and said have at it. I knew it wasn't for me. 98 degrees while doing yoga for an hour? You've got to be out of your freaking mind.

Then she lost two dress sizes in three months. Didn't change her eating habits at all. Looks AMAZING. To say that is motivating and inspiring to see is a bit of an understatement to me.

So, finally, I agreed. And then begged to get out of it. Then, set the time to go. And backed out. Then, fearful of dry heaving in front of the class, I finally hauled my rear into the hot yoga studio last week. Not going to lie--thought I was suffocating for the first fifteen minutes. But I made it through. I survived.

Tonight, I finished my second class. My body was a little more prepared for the heat. This time during our time of meditation before class, I wasn't focused on staying alive. I was able to sit and reflect. Breathe. Set goals for myself and what I want for my weight loss.

I can't guarantee that I'll stick to it but I think I think yoga will be good for me in many ways. I'm going to give it a try. I hope it will help bring me strength, calm, peace, and energy.

Until next blog....Namaste

Friday, June 11, 2010

100 Things

A friend of mine recently wrote 100 Things That Make Me Happy and shared her list with me. When I read it, I found myself simultaneously thinking "There's no way I could come up with 100 things" and coming up with my things I would write down. I smiled through her list.

So, it's time for me to make my list. Especially coming out of stressful times and postpartum depression issues, I need to focus on the things that bring me happiness and joy. I need to help remember those things. If you blog, I encourage you to give this exercise a try too.

1. Maggie's curls
2. Butterflies
3. Blue Bell Cookies and Cream Ice Cream
4. Andrew's blue eyes
5. How Andrew and Amie talk to each other
6. That I end every conversation with my brother with "I love you" from us both
7. Looking out at Paris from the Sacre Coeur
8. Riding bikes through Versailles
9. Cruising
10. Jumping into a pool for the first time each summer
11. Sitting on Deb's couch talking about anything and nothing
12. "Huggies" from Beck and Ella
13. Maggie's laughter
14. My Allie necklace
15. The excitement of losing weight and fitting into the next size
16. The way Brandy groans at me when she thinks I'm disturbing her
17. Andrew making Katie belly laugh
18. Walking into Katie's room in the mornings
19. Snuggles
20. Movie nights in my bed
21. Sitting in a dark movie theatre
22. Watching a favorite show with Andrew and discussing it after
23. When I'm frustrated with something Andrew is doing and say, "Andrew STOP" only to have him respond with "Um, it's SCOTT. Your last name too"
24. Watching Maggie on the swings at Six Flags
25. Seeing my children light up with my mother and grandmother
26. My giant Sugar canvases in my home
27. My iPhone
28. Twitter
29. Knowing that I have Debbie, Deanna, Jen, Tracey, and Amy in my life and can call on anytime
30. Public speaking
31. Cheering runners as they cross the finish line of the Heroes for Children 5K
32. Running into former students and hearing about their lives now
33. Falling asleep to a book and letting it fall to my chest
34. The way Andrew curls up to me in his sleep
35. Brandy leaving me her special pile of things (socks, baby bibs and clothes, toys, etc) next to my bedside as her gift for when I get up in the morning
36. Walking through a museum
37. Going to see a production of musical theatre
38. Having someone tell me how Allie touched their life
39. Camp Discovery
40. The moment we meet for volunteer orientation at camp and greet each other at the hospital
41. Watching my children sleep
42. Singing to songs with Maggie in the car
43. Napping with Katie
44. LONG naps
45. Talking on the phone
46. Meeting new people
47. Taking Dr. Goldman his birthday cake
48. Snorkeling
49. Seeing a dolphin jump alongside a cruise ship
50. Being married to my prom date
51. Harry Potter books
52. Watching the cousins all play together
53. The excitement before a vacation
54. Standing in the doorway and watching Andrew play with our girls
55. Giraffes
56. Going to the lakehouse
57. Childhood memories
58. Thinking I look better now in my thirties then I did in my twenties
59. Picking out a new outfit
60. Laughing with Andrew
61. Knowing that if it's Saturday at 3pm and the phone rings, it's Debbie.
61. Texting with friends
62. Driving my Routan (how is it that I love my MINIVAN?!?)
63. Pictures of Brandy as a puppy
64. A tuna tower from Blue Fish
65. Playing games with Maggie
66. Traveling with the Kriegers
67. Bumping into an old friend
68. Long lunches
69. Talks with Andrew in our bed in the dark before bed
70. Maggie stroking my face when she comes in to wake me up in the morning
71. A patio and a margarita
72. Kisses on my children's bellies
73. GNO's
74. Meeting families Heroes for Children has helped and hearing their gratitude
75. Realizing that our dream of a nonprofit is coming true and far exceeding expectations
76. Talks with my mom
77. My memory foam pad on my bed.
78. Long, hot, showers that scold the skin
79. Trips to the zoo
80. The sunset in Biarritz, France
81. Buffet line on a cruise ship
82. Holding Andrew's hand
83. Sitting in my car and having Braum's with Maggie in the parking lot
84. My giraffe lamps with the mother kissing the baby giraffe on mine and Andrew's nightstands
85. Smell of a newborn baby
86. Giving a Christmas present
87. Carnival night at camp
88. Spending the day in my pajamas
89. Finally finding my place
90. Laughing until I'm grabbing my sides
91. Seeing Maggie like things that I did as a little girl
92. Buying cute outfits for my girls
93. Getting a large donation because they feel touched by the mission of the organization
94. Blogging
95. Marathon watch days of favorite tv shows with Andrew
96. Date nights
97. Knowing that while Allie only lived nine months, her legacy will live much longer than that
98. Everyone piled in my bed together snuggling as a family
99. The way Andrew laughs his crazy laugh in his sleep or starts talking
100. Ice cold water while eating ice cream

I've read this list a few times since typing it. Can't wipe the smile off my face.