All About My Mama

Mother's Day, 2013.  A little book by Maggie....

What is a mother? 
A mother is a careing, sweet, pretty, loving, snuggleing person.  That's what a mother is!

My favorite time with my mother is...
Going to get our nails done.  I loved it and you must loved it too! 

[Editor's note--we did this last Wednesday after Field Day and I took the day off work.  Haven't done it for at least a year or more before that.]

My mother looks the prettiest when...
She goes to the millitery ball and when you went to heros for children meetings.  That when you look pretty. 

The funniest thing that ever happened to my mother is...
When you got stuck on top of a fence.  That was funny.

[Editor's note number 2--I was either 11 or 12 and I got scared on top of a fence that friends and I were climbing over.  All my friends scaled it with no problem.  I have a fear of falling.  Got to the top and cried immobilized with fear.  Girls love to beg "tell us a story when you were a kid."  This is a favorite, along with the Christmas tree my mother planted in our front yard when I was in the third grade.]

The most important thing in my mother's life is...
me, Allie and Katie.  Espeashily Allie.  

My favorite dish that my mother makes is choklet chip pancakes.  She makes it like this...
First, she mixes the batter up.  Then, she puts the batter on the pan.  Third, she puts cholcet chips on it.  Last she put it on our plates and we get to eat it! From:Maggie


All of the above came with a handmade card with her handprint coming out of a vase with flowers on the fingers.  It says
Love my mom because...
She always lends a helping hand.  I love her!  It is so good to be her daughter!
Love, Maggie 2013

Tell you what, it is SO GOOD to be her mom!

I'm on a roll! Round 3

I had wanted to write more yesterday but it was just too busy.  So, I only answered a few of the questions.  Here are more!

Could you tell us about your trip to Paris last year? I have always wondered how it was. What is your favorite thing about Paris? Are you going again this year?

Actually, since going back to teaching, I've had the opportunity to go to France twice with students.  We had a group in June 2012 to Paris only.  We spent a week exploring the city, going to Versailles, going through the museums, waiting in the rain for the Catacombs, and laughing in the longest line I've ever encountered at the Eiffel Tower (only one tower running elevators).  It was a really great trip.  We had 17 kids and three teachers.  Our students were amazing.  I remembered why I fell in love with Paris.  I love that city so much and really enjoy watching my students experience it for the first time.

Over Spring Break in March just a few months ago, we went back with my current group of 8th graders.  This time, we went to Paris then took the fast moving train, the TGV, to Avignon.  We spent two nights in Avignon and the surrounding cities of Nimes and Arles, then ended our trip in Nice.  It was a great trip but really COLD.  Paris had an unprecedented winter, with it snowing in March!  Unfortunately, the kids couldn't go up the Eiffel Tower because it was closed that evening due to the weather.  My kids were amazing and didn't even let it affect their trip.  One declared "hey, how often do you get to play in the snow under the Eiffel Tower" and off they went. 

The next trip is planned for June 2014 and I currently have 12 registered.  That one will be Paris and the northern regions of Brittany and Normandy, including the D-Day beaches.  Taking a certain military man along as a chaperone.  I love changing the itineraries and trying places I haven't seen as much either.

My favorite picture from the trip. This is the other French teacher I travel with from the middle school close to us.  Our students all go to high school together.  Mike and I travel well together with the kids.  These are our "You can't have fun on the France trip" mean teacher faces! Standing in front of the Louvre

 Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I remember a recent post that other teaching job you could see yourself doing "5 years down the road."One thing is absolutely certain for me, I will be working with teenagers, preferably middle schoolers..  I love working with them and they make my life better.  I have considered going back to graduate school to become a counselor.  I know that is something I would be good at but I'm not quite ready.  I love being in the classroom right now.  I think maybe once Katie is in elementary school and my life is more settled, I will try to find a good counseling program. 

Does it get easier or harder in time with Allie? (No disrespect intended with this question.)
Absolutely no disrespect taken.  This is a good question.  I would have to say both.  The day to day gets easier.  Gone are the days I wake up hearing her scream or feel the constant ache of missing her.  I don't always wake with her on my mind immediately because small girls are jumping on me or we're rushing to get ready.  Not a day goes back that I don't think of my beauty, but the pain of the day to day is not there.  On the flip side, the big dates are worse for me.  I struggle a lot for her anniversary, her birthday, the day of her diagnosis (that's this Friday, my niece's birthday), Mother's Day.  I feel the pain of not having her presence in my life stronger on those anniversary dates. 


Do you see yourself remarrying?

The idea of marriage scares me.  I can't imagine going through a divorce again.  I am terrified of another heartache. 

The idea of marrying this guy?  I feel completely safe and confident in it.  So, yes, I do hope to marry again.  I'd marry Rob in a heartbeat.  I don't know when it would happen, but I do think it will one day.  However, for now, I'm happy with him moving closer.  We often say our relationship has phases.  In the beginning, there was the phase of dating without knowing any of our kids and him in officer training in Ft. Sill.  Then we moved to the phase of him knowing my girls.  We went through a long period of time where his kids knew about me but we still had not met.  We weren't around each other on the weekends.  Since December, we've been in a phase of our girls getting to know one another and the big girls getting to know me.  With each phase we've been in, there have been challenges and struggles we've had to overcome.  There have been great joys and happiness to far outweigh the challenges.

We'll see what this next phase brings us. 

Do you want to have any more children? (drawing a blank if you had anything done to not have more)
Similiar question--do you forsee a future where you and Rob try for #6, or is raising 4 girls plenty?

I love my babies.  I was blessed to have three beautiful little girls and have the privilege of raising two of them.  I love his girls.  It's fun and wild to see them all together and see the differences and similiarities of our ladies.  However, 5 daughters is PLENTY.  When we're all together, it's a hectic time.  Finding activities for girls ranging from 3-15 is not an easy task.  Someone is always dissatisfied with the choice picked by everyone else.  Rob is 41.  I'm 35.  We're almost out of the toddler stage with Sissy and getting close to no more pull ups at night.  I can't imagine starting over.  I can't imagine having yours, mine, and ours in our family.  I think that's too much on our girls.  While we both agree we would make pretty little babies, but we won't test that theory.  Katie was my last baby.  The C-section helped make that final with a little procedure as well :)


Are you still close with A's family?  
Obviously not as close as we once were, but I have been able to maintain a good relationship with his mom, Frances.  She buys the girls season tickets to the children's theatre in FW and we've been to a few shows with her.  I love and respect Frances and that will never change.  I do not speak to his father or stepmother, but we have never had a good relationship and went years without speaking when I was married to Andrew. 

 Thanks for sharing the 'meet' story. You indicated that it was 'your' version, how would Rob's differ?
He usually just says it was a happy hour or a dinner, not a tweet-up.  He'll tell you he left knowing we wouldn't see each other again.  He says it was my smile that won him over. 

How is your friend Grace (the other half of the dynamic duo of chaos) That was one of my favorite posts, because it is totally me and my co teacher :)
Grace has had a BIG year! She's married now and is 16 weeks pregnant.  It's been a really rough pregnancy with high-risk complications, but she is amazing.  She and her husband are separated by a distance.  He lives in Oklahoma and she moves there as soon as the school year ends.  We have a girl date tonight just the two of us!  Last night, we celebrated finishing our year of National Junior Honor Society by inducting 143 members. 

Just a slight height difference :)  Seriously, why did the 6 ft tall chick pregnant chick feel the need to then wear 4 inch heels?  Even with my heels, she's an amazon next to me!
 What are the girls into these days? Fairies, princesses, frogs?
Maggie is starting to be too big for the little girl stuff like princesses.  She loves American Girl, Junie B Jones, and the bigger Disney shows (though rarely gets to watch).  Much to my horror, she is obsessed with all things from Justice.  Me, that place is my hell.  Her big goal is to learn how to ride her bike better this summer.  She fell Sunday night with the babysitters and skinned her knee, which really upset her. 

Sissy still loves Dora, but Jake and the Pirates has her heart a bit more.  She is really into Lalaloopsy and has started to like coloring like her big sister. Every day, her requests "something that spins" with her outfit.  Unlike her sister, she doesn't like sparkly stuff as much.  That makes hand me downs a bit of a challenge since big sister loves all things sparkly.  Katie is my carb queen, constantly wanting baggies of dry cereal.  She is the bigger animal lover and will curl up with the dogs. 

What are three qualities you hope both girls have now and keep while growing up?Maggie-- 1) her kindness and concern for others.  She treats everyone the same and is always described by her teachers as the "sweetheart of the class."  2) her love of learning.  She loves school and always wants to learn something new.  3)  her fashion sense.  My girl has style and it's fun to see what she picks out

Katie-- 1) her spunk.  The girl might be wild but she sure is spunky and fun.  Life is never dull with her in it. 2)  her ability to bounce back.  Nothing really gets to Katie too long.  She lets it go and gets back in a good mood.  3)  her leadership.  Even at 3, she has the ability to lead the class and have everyone behind her.  She is a natural leader.  It's just what she chooses to do with that talent that will be interesting. 

If you could predict the future and take a lucky guess now, what would you think the professions of your girls would be?
I think one of them will be a teacher.  Most likely Maggie.  Katie?  Not totally sure.  She will tell you she'd like to be "maybe a butterfly or a ladybug."

Oh, I loved hearing about the girls. What else is floating around in your head that you'd love to mommy-brag to us?
How about some recent pictures of my lovelies?

Well since I see an update on the girls, what about your "other girl" BRANDY? How is that sweet pooch doing?

Just wrote this post recently about the Old Lady.  Love that dog.  She got in the trash the other day, overate and then threw up everywhere.  Wasn't so in love with her then but normally, she's my baby.  :)

Round Two

I’m having fun with these questions!  Thanks for asking and helping me get back into writing more.  I needed that.  Maybe I needed that little kick in the pants from our dear Kelly. 

Here we go!

 I love these posts recently! I often wonder how you and the girls are, but the posts are so far between I find myself checking in a lot waiting for an update.

I know, I have been a negligent writer!  Love to write but it’s finding the time to dedicate to it.  Right now, I have bills on my desk, grades to enter, projects to grade, and a big event to get ready for tonight with the National Junior Honor Society.  Naturally, I’m blogging instead.  J

Since everyone is asking thing about you I figure I will ask something different. Tell us about the girls. I felt like I knew Allie, but I don't know much about Maggie and Katie.

Oh, my girlies!  Thanks for asking about them.  They are my everything and my joy.  In the car today, Maggie was listing how she was “just like Mama” and how she and Sissy (Katie) were different. 

What is their favorite thing to do?

They play so well together!  Sissy is hilarious and Maggie and I are constantly laughing at the crazy things she does.   Home time is often watching Sis go nuts, running, dancing, singing, while Maggie is laughing so hard she can barely breathe. 

Maggie is still my girly-girl.  She loves all things fashion and still says she wants to be a fashion designer when she grows up (though now she’s added teacher to that too).  She loves clothes and picking out her outfits very carefully.  She even helps me pick out mine.  Maggie does Girl Scouts, ballet and tap, and gymnastics.  She can’t do a cartwheel to save her life, but she loves participating and tries really hard.  She is very creative and loves to draw and make crafts.  My girlfriend Angela just taught Maggie a little about making cakes and how to roll the fondant and make a decorative cake.  She participated in a cake show competition after three lessons with Angela and loved it so much.  She was so proud of her work.  Her cake was a makeup box. 1^st grade has been great for Maggie.  She reads on almost a 3^rd grade level now.  Science and Math are her favorites, which she jokes is one of our big differences.  Me and Math?  Oh no. Not at all.  Mag tested for the gifted and talented program and we should know this week if she was accepted for next year. 

Katie loves life!  She lives it to the fullest.  10 and 15 refer to her as “The Beast.”  She’s wild and crazy.  There’s nothing quite like Katie Scott.  She has a devilish grin that she flashes and you just KNOW something is going on in that brain.  She has two volume levels—LOUD and LOUDER and moves at only one speed—full motion at all times.  This school year, Sissy has had six black eyes.  Six.  One was from a pretty scary car accident she and A were in last November when a car t-boned them at an intersection.  The air bag deployed and popped her in the face.  Thankfully, while his car was totaled, she just got minor bruises and scrapes plus a big bump on her forehead.  Other black eyes have included jumping to the bean bag and hitting the window, spinning in Chick Fil-A and hitting a chair, falling a few times at school, etc.  There is a reason I refer to her as my wild child. 

Katie is the athletic child.  She is getting really good at gymnastics and loves to jump and play.  She says she can’t wait to be a Girl Scout like Maggie to get a vest to wear.  She will most likely play soccer soon and I don’t doubt she’ll be great at it. 

What do you love doing with them that you don't get to do often enough?

Because I only have them three week nights per week and two are for dance and gymnastics, I don’t get enough time to just be at home.  No TV is allowed on week nights, mainly because of our time together already being limited.  We love to go play outside and I miss having a front yard where we can play. Our little townhome has just the patch of grass, but we do try to get out and color with chalk on the driveway when we can.  Not often enough.  I always feel like we are on the move and I have to force myself to make sure we have time to just be together and relax at home.  We love pajama days but haven’t had one in a long time.

 What differences in personalities do you see between them?

As you can probably see from above, they are night and day different.  Even their sizes are different.  Maggie is still my tiny peanut.  She is only 41 pounds at 7 ½ and in the 10^th percentile for her weight and height.  She wears a size 5 or 6T (mainly for length).  Sister is 38 pounds at 3 and in the 95^th percentile for her weight and height.  She wears some 4T but mainly 5T.  They share one bucket of socks and underwear.  Funny girls. 

Do you think they will grow up and band together to sneak out of the house or will one tattle on the other?

I think they will always have a strong bond together.  I have no doubt when my dramatic diva hits the teenage years, her younger sister will annoy the crud out of her.  However, I think they will always protect each other. 

Questions, Round One

Just since posting the Ask Away post below, I've gotten some great questions in.  These have definitely gotten me in the mood to write!  Keep them coming :)

 

If you could vacation anywhere, where would it be?

I have dreamed of a vacation to Hawaii since I was a child but never been.  One day in my life, I hope to go.  Right now, I would just REALLY like a trip anywhere with Military Man.  Just us.  Not sure when that will happen but it sounds divine.  Doesn't even have to be a long trip!  We went to Tampa to see his brother and sister in law in March 2012 and took my girls to the beach last summer on what was a really disastrous trip (LONG story but it didn't go well and we came *this* close to breaking up then.  Thankfully, everything worked out in the end).  We think we'll go back to Tampa in August to visit because baby #4 is making her entrance in July and we are so excited for them.  This summer, it's a road trip to North Carolina to see his family with Maggie, Katie, 10 and 15.  Should be an adventure!

Now that you've been through therapy and are mentally healthy, where have you settled on the issue of religion? (No judgment, just curiosity) 

Wow, good question.  About a year ago, I started going to church with MM.  He is a pastor's son and a fairly devout man.  It's been a journey going back and I don't totally know where I fully stand on everything, but my heart is much more open now.  My girls are going to church on the weekends they are with me and asking me and more.  Maggie went to VBS last summer and loves learning.  I have had my share of tears shed during a sermon in the past year, and I have left upset by things said as well.  MM and I have had long discussions of religion.  He never pushes me or expects me to be as comfortable in faith as he is. 

Do you ever see or talk to the Eisenbergs? They seemed like such an amazing family!

Sadly, not much anymore.  I miss Dana too.  We keep up with each other via FB and text from time to time, but it's been over a year since I've seen her in person.  I see Dennis sometimes because he is my OB.  He delivered both Maggie and Katie! There boths are in the 7th grade now, can you believe it?  Dana runs a successful event planning business and she seems to be doing well.  Maybe I should text her today. 

Please share with us how you and MM met :) 

Depends on which of us tells this story how exactly it goes, but here's my best version of it--

I am pretty addicted to Twitter.  I've met people there and have a lot of friends who use it.  So, in September 2011, there was a "tweet up" of some people I knew at a local restaurant.  It was a random Tuesday night and I didn't have the girls.  The Irish guy I was dating (the "Non-Boyfriend") was working late that night, but he said maybe he would meet me up there.  I went and sat with some friends chatting about everything but not really feeling well that night.  I had just stopped taking a medication and coming off of it was making me very dizzy and generally disgusting feeling.  Definitely did not feel pretty or good about myself that night.  

 

Two guys came in that I didn't know.  I knew everyone else, so naturally I went over to introduce myself.  I ended up hanging out with these guys, my friend Chris, my friend Paige and a few others on that side of the patio for the rest of the evening.  One guy was a friend of a friend of mine and that is why he came, bringing his business partner along with him. The business partner had signed up for Twitter the night before and had no clue what the heck he was doing at a "tweet up."  Joked about being dragged there and only coming out of curiosity.  He was handsome.  Black t-shirt and jeans and you could tell he works out.  I was immediately attracted to him.  We started talking and soon it was as if there wasn't anyone else around.  He leaned in to talk to me.  I flirted with him and we both laughed and talked easily.  There was an instant connection with this guy. 

 

And then I got a text that the Irish Non-Boyfriend would be there in 10 minutes.  AWKWARD.  NB showed up and the two started chatting about Boston and baseball.  The next thing I know, I'm sitting between the guy I'm seeing (but not exclusively) and the guy I've been flirting with for the past two plus hours!  The Red Sox were playing that night and both were getting ESPN notifications, fist bumping each other with the big win at the end.  SHEESH.  Then I left with NB to go home for the night.  Honestly, I didn't think I would see Military Man again.  I really liked him and I was definitely attracted, but I figured he wrote me off after I left with another guy (though I had told him that NB was NOT my boyfriend, so I still kind of hoped).  

 

The next day, I had a Twitter follow request from him.  I accepted and sent him a direct message saying "Welcome to Twitter!  I really enjoyed talking to you last night."  He responded with "Thanks!  Great to talk to you too....and not so bad to look at either."  By the end of the day, we had a date scheduled for the following week.  We texted and called multiple times between then.  We had an entire weekend around each other after that, and I soon ended things with NB to exclusively be with MM.  I've never regretted it.  Falling in love with MM was the easiest thing I've ever done. We jokingly thank Twitter all the time for bringing us together. 

How difficult has it been to keep off the weight you lost? You are such an inspiration - It is so hard for me to maintain a weight loss! 

It's a constant battle for me.  I work hard at it but slip a lot with my eating.  The good thing is that I eat smaller portions and I don't really snack anymore.  For me, the hardest part is still body image.  I have yet to see myself as a size four.   I typically have to grab two or three different dresses before I settle on the one that actually fits.  I obsess over the scale, weighing myself almost every day.  It's really more out of a fear.  I just keep waiting to be heavy again, even though it's been almost three years since I was that big.  Someone recently commented that Maggie was "just so tiny, like her mother."  Um, huh?  Who?  Me?  Surely not.  As I have blogged before, I really need to be better about working out.  I dropped yoga from my budget but I really miss it.  I do yoga tapes at home but not frequently.  MM's new apartment complex has a really nice workout area and even a yoga room.  I hope to put it to some use once he's settled in. 

Is Tracey OK? 
I can't speak for her or share information as that's hers to share.  I will say this--my friend Tracey is stronger than anyone I've ever known in my life. 

What keeps you awake at night?
Once I'm asleep, I'm solid.  It's the falling asleep.  My brain doesn't stop.  I have some adult ADD and can't stop moving and thinking.  I fiddle on my phone or laptop a lot until I'm too tired to keep my eyes open any longer. 
 
What do you picture your girls doing/becoming as adults?
Maggie says she wants to be a fashion designer or a teacher.  Katie currently says a teacher, doctor, ladybug or butterfly.  Honestly, so long as they are kind and happy, I don't care what they become.  I hope that I can continue to have a strong relationship with them and be a part of their lives.  I hope they travel the world some and have the chance to live a little. I hope they catch the traveling bug to get out and go! 

 How has Heros for Children changed you and what is a precious memory you have of helping others? FYI we were on the receiving end of this great organization and it helped in more ways the you can imagine! Thanks for taking care of so many like us! 
First let me say I'm humbled that we were able to help your family.  I hope that it was what you needed and provided you with the knowledge that others are there to support and love you during this horrible journey. 

Heroes for Children has been a journey for me.  I started it blinded with Larissa, not knowing what we were doing.  We had a mission and our hope of what we wanted to see.  In the past nine years, that hope has been far exceeded.  Larissa and I have more than once stood together in amazement saying "can you believe we really did this?!?"  The people I have met along the way have been the best part.  I've made some great friendships with others through Heroes for Children.  I've met other moms battling childhood cancer and seen some incredible amounts of strength.  I've been inspired by children so many times I can't even keep track of it all.  Seen a 9 year old boy as an alter boy at his 7 year old brother's funeral.  Watched a girl in a wig and ball gown dance at her quincenera. 

It wasn't always easy for me at Heroes though.  The day to day of the day was just plain hard.  The stress was high and the emotional side was high.  I've attended far too many children's funerals.  I've cried with so many mothers calling to thank us and share her child's story. 

My favorite moments are always the events that are for the families.  We have some awesome fundraisers, like our 5K Run/Walk or Heroes and Handbags, to raise the funds.  The events I love more are the ones designed for the families with a child going through cancer treatment to come.  We have a night at the museum (it's tomorrow night and I'm missing for the first time because I have tickets to a play with friends), a movie day.  Our two biggest events are the Holiday Heroes parties in Dallas, Houston and Ft Worth, as well as the Valentine's Dinners in Dallas and Houston.  The Valentine's Dinner is so special--it's a date night for the parents with free onsite childcare provided by a professional nanny service.  We try to spoil the parents that night! 

What is military man's real name?
Rob :)

Ask Away

I have done this once before, and while I hesitate to do it again, I'm going to give it a try.

Ask away.  Do you have any questions for me?  Please know I may not answer everything.  I will not bash my ex husband or answer something that is in some way inappropriate about that.  I will not answer any questions about my former friendship with Debbie either, so you don't even need to ask.  For the most part, though, I'm not shy and I'm willing to give an attempt at answering. 

So, let's see how this goes....

Military Man on the Move

After 20 months of dating with MM living over 40 miles away from me, we are in the home stretch of that situation.  He's moving to this side of town at the end of May!  I.am.so.excited!!  He has a new apartment 3.1 miles away from here.  He likes to add the .1 in there so I've gotten used to doing it as well.  He says he wants to run it every once in a while. 

I can't tell you how much MM has done for our relationship with regards to our living situations.  Since we didn't have weekends even around each other until very recently, he has been the one to make the trek over to my side of town.  We only had Tuesday and Wednesday nights most weeks together.  For me to make it to work on time, I would have to leave two hours early from his apartment.  I tried it twice. I was late both times.  He works from anywhere--his couch, the dining room table, McDonald's, Starbucks.  He takes his laptop and gets to work.  So, he's the one that comes out to me.  It's not easy though.  We try to make sure we are appropriate for our children.  If he's here, he resides on the couch.  They see him on the couch on those mornings and jump onto him as soon as they can.  The girls love Ha.  He lives out of his duffle bag when he's here, and he transports the puppy back and forth from his apartment to here.  The puppy lives more here than not between his time when MM is here and when he's gone for the military. I have him the next three weeks when MM is gone for his annual training up in Oklahoma.  He gets back the night before Mother's Day. 

I have felt guilty for the amount of driving he has done since we started dating.  His poor little car has added so many miles in the past year and a half I've known him! He reminds me that it's worth it.  It's all been worth it.  I just can't wait until I can easily drive to his place.  I can't wait to have him closer and to see him more frequently. Things are just getting better.

Thanks for the love on the picture below.  No, it's not an engagement photo or anything.  Just had the opportunity to have some photos of the girls taken.  At the end, we jumped in to a few of just us.  Ann, the photographer, instructed me to look at her and told him to look at me and talk to me.  He had just finished whispering "I love you" when they shot was taken.  It makes me so happy every time I see it.  Can't wait to see the rest of the shoot!

The way he makes me smile...

Photo by Ann Beck Photography

It's safe to say that Military Man makes me happier than I could ever put into words.  Just look at how I light up around him.  And the way he looks at me?  A true reflection of how he loves me. 

I couldn't be happier.