It's the simply things that can make the biggest impact. Flowers sent to your classroom before a first date? I cannot describe how fun it was to have two giggly teenagers walk into my classroom a few weeks ago with a gorgeous arrangmeent of flowers and excitedly ask who they were from. Or how fun it was to open a card from a man I was really excited to see again. We met at a "tweet-up" happy hour with some friends I have on Twitter. He reluctantly agreed to go with a friend after just joining Twitter. We chatted a bunch that night then began messaging on Twitter. We talked for a week before our first date.
The date could not have been better. We went to the fair a few days after our first date and spent most of a weekend around each other. At the fair, we laughed ourselves silly on crazy rides and rollercoasters. We ate corn dogs, shared a turkey leg, and kissed on the midway. It was perfect. The time I spend with him could not be better.
Then the confusion set in. How could I date TWO men? How could I like this man so much if I barely knew him? How could I keep my "no relationship" relationship with the "Non-Boyfriend" if I want to pursue something with the new man? Could I be ready to give up what I had with NB for a real chance at a real relationship?
I broke up with NB last week. I took a huge leap and decided to give it a shot with the other man. We should give him a name now, huh? For his privacy, I won't use his name.
Breaking up with NB was difficult. We always agreed we would continue the way we were until it didn't work for us for whatever reason. We agreed we have a strong friendship too. I have spoken to him since Sunday and I know he is struggling with his divorce and our breakup. He didn't want to break up but COULD'NT be more than what we were. He didnt want us to end but didn't want to stop me from pursuing something great either. He thinks I'm NUTS for getting involved quickly (I agree), but he hopes ("well, maybe only 80% hope") that it does work with Boyfriend and me. I miss talking and laughing with him and I sincerely hope we'll be able to still be friends. I just don't know yet.
So, now I'm in a relationship. I have....a....boyfriend. Do you know how much I don't like that word? It feels awkward and new. It scares me. I'm terrified of getting hurt again or feeling too strongly for him, but I'm trying so much to go with it. I want to be with him. I care so much about him. He makes me smile, laugh, and melt. He is kind, attentive, and caring. He treats me the way no one has ever treated me before. When he looks at me, it's as if there isn't another person anywhere around. Even when surrounded by thousands in the middle of the fair.
Last night, I opened my mailbox to find a card. Y'all, he bought a card. Wrote in it. Put a stamp on it and mailed to my home. Thanked me for "taking a leap." Yeah, I melted. I don't know what will happen next with us, but I'm looking forward to finding out.
I took a leap. He says he will catch me.