Monday, August 29, 2011

Post Divorce

I just typed an entire blog post about how I've been emotionally post divorce.  I realized it was too raw to hit send.  I'll try to figure out what I want to say here on the blog, but for now, I'll just say I'm here.  I'm loving my job and my students.  That and the girls keep me going on a daily basis. 

I'm here.  I'm breathing.  I'm hurting.

32 comments:

Dusty said...

I'm so sorry. All I can say is that sometimes you need take life a minute at a time. Hugs.

As for your job and girls, I'm happy that you have some happiness in your life.

Grady Family said...

And we are here hoping and praying for peace for you.... I am so glad that work and the girls provide you with the brightness each day that you deserve!

Auntie Mip said...

I am so sorry Jenny! Your are thought of and prayed for. I don't know if that helps...insure hope it does.

Kirsten said...

Sending you ((hugs))

The Rest is Still Unwritten said...

Jenny, I am so sorry. You do not deserve any more pain in your life. I pray for the day you are happy in all aspects of your life. Best wishes to you and your girls...

HPTeach said...

Continuing to think of you and the girls. Praying from here in AR.

Rebecca said...

Thinking of you Jenny. It WILL get better...just takes time.

Dawn said...

Jenny, my heart aches for you, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m one of the silent lurkers who’s been following your blog for years, always silently rooting for you. Even though you didn’t post what you wrote, it’s probably good that you wrote it all down, if only for yourself. When I was going through a difficult time it helped to keep a journal of all those overwhelming feelings. Just hang in there and take it day by day. Take some time to do something nice for yourself when you’re feeling down, and focus on the positive things. You’re young and resilient, and you WILL get through this. Wishing you all the best… {{Hugs}}

LisaWV said...

Sending you cyber hugs. I suspect that this month will be especially hard, but you will get through it. Sending you every good vibe I can, and thinking of you every day. Is it totally weird that a relative stranger is out here, thinking of you after all these years? Thinking of Allie, too, as always this time of year. I hope you and the girls have a good day today, and that the pain gets more manageable each day that passes. I hope the new job is going well, too.

Carol and Co. said...

Dear Jenny,
Like Dawn, I have also been rooting for you over the years, since Allie was diagnosed. I am so sorry for the loss you are enduring right now and I am praying for God to give you strength and endurance as well as a peaceful heart. Those qualities may seem so "out there" right now but this is also one of those times when it's ok to rely on the faith and strength of others who love you. You are so incredibly loved and blessed, keep surrounding yourself with those who support you and remember that it's GOOD to take just one step at a time. Thank you for allowing me to share my heart for you.

GirlyMomma said...

I agree, writing it down just for you validates it. It was probably a blessing you wrote it in the first place.
I am sure the emotion is raw. I am sure it hurts. I'm just another mom always pulling for you and your girls...hang in there.

Robin said...

Hang in there Jenny....you are one tough chick and you'll get through this. Sending you a big Canadian cyber hug.

TPPmommyof3 said...

This will pass. The feelings you are having right now will fade. You just have to make it thru this ugly period. There is SO much more for you out there. You just have to get there. You are too amazing, pretty, funny, smart not to end up unhappy. In the mean time, God gave us this amazing blessing... WINE!

Busy days filled with people you love, lots of time with your PRECIOUS girls, and then when they go to bed... go for the wine and mindless entertainment!! :o) How do you feel about the Bachelor Pad?? Can't get more mindless then that!!

Know you are being prayed for by so many.

TPPmommyof3 said...

Oh dear God, lol. I meant, "Not to end up happy!" Gracious goodness... I MUST LEARN TO PROOF READ BEFORE SENDING!! Bleah. Can I blame it on mommy brain?? Or no brain at all?? So sorry.

tricia said...

My heart is so sad for what you are going thru. I know you will get thru it but going thru it must be horrific. If I'm still stunned about Andrew's declaration then I can NOT imagine your feelings.I'm glad you have those 'highs'-work,students,your mom &grandmom,posse,friends and the girls to offset the 'lows'

Angie said...

I've seen several friends go through divorce over the past few years, and my heart broke for them. The one thing they all have in common today - they are all happy and have moved on. I know you're hurting, but I also know that you will end up stronger and happier for the pain you're feeling now - I've seen it first hand. I'm always pulling for you & your girls. You have a friend in Virginia anytime you want one! ((((HUGS)))))

snekcip said...

Jenny, please know that what you are feeling is "normal". Putting it down on paper is a "process" of healing. Keep breathing, Keep being the INCREDIBLE woman you are and most of all KEEP BELIEVING. It will get better.

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and the girls. My heart aches for you.

Hugs, Karen

that was my post that was deleted because of misspelled words.

Stacey said...

I have been through a divorce myself and can only imagine what you are going through. The emotions are sometimes to hard to deal with. What got me through it were my beautiful children. They needed me to stay strong for their sake and you know what it was good for all of us. My kids got through the hard part of the divorce really well. We kept grounded and let them know it was nothing they did and that Mommy and Daddy can't be together anymore. They did not understand why though. Now today, 3 years after the divorce, I am remarried. I never was looking in and it just happened. I ran into a longtime friend of mine. He too had been through a divorce and we started off the best of friends and it developed into more. You will get past this, although it does take time, and you will see what the world has to offer you. Let those girls be your light and happiness. They will be the one that will make you smile the most when you just want to cry.

HUGS to you!!!!

Chrissy said...

I have been following you for 7 years and have to tell you that I have thought of you many, many times over those years. When you are hurting, many people are also hurting for you. Hugs and strength to get you through this difficult period. There are great things in store for you!!

One crazed mommy said...

Jenny - I'm so sorry you are having to go through so much pain. Hang in there, and know that you are in the thoughts of many, many people and we are rooting for you to pull through and find the happiness and sunshine that you deserve. Hug those girls and lean on your friends (in real life and online) whenever you need to. Write things down (whether or not you share them - some things just aren't meant to be shared), as stated by others, it can be so therapeutic. Big hugs to you!

LisaJ said...

Jenny, I've been reading your blog for three years now. I found it through another blog I read. I was touched by your story and amazed by your strength. I wanted to come out of the woodwork to let you know that you have the support of your faithful readers. Even though I don't know you, you and the girls are in my prayers.

timi68 said...

Jenny, i'm sure you recognize my name by now as I've been following you since day one of Allie's diagnosis. I remember many times you mentioned that Andrew was your "rock" No wonder you're emotionally drained....You've been to hell and back with the passing of Allie and your rock is no longer there for you. You have EVERY right to feel the way you do and believe me, NOTHING you write can be too raw. Even though we don't know the details of your divorce, I, like others on here find it so difficult to understand how Andrew could do this to you! You were blindsided and it's just not fair...after all you've been through together. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you find the happiness you deserve! God blessed you with your health and your beautiful daughters and together you'll all get through this. ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

Sharon C said...

I know the pain of having a spouse fall "out of love" while still in love yourself, and know the deep soul-searching pain it causes. Was I the reason? Was I not pretty or skinny enough? Was I too clingy? Was I not independent enough? Did he no longer share my values? How could he even THINK of not loving me anymore? All those thoughts questioning yourself....so I can say STOP RIGHT THERE Missy! YOU were not the problem! You have every right to feel that pain, to mourn that loss, to be an emotional wreck. Every song on the radio "speaks" to you and makes you sob; Now you know where songwriters get their ideas! Allow yourself to grieve, to sob, to cringe at the thought of him dating. And know that it's okay. And perfectly normal. I'm so, so sorry you're going through this Jenny. You don't deserve it, but I know that someday, you'll find true love again.

Ashley H. said...

Not much for words this evening, but I read the comments previous to mine and agree with them all. You're in my prayers.

Cair said...

{{{{{Hugs Jenny}}}}}

I'm a long ago reader of your blogs who lost track of you. Yesterday, when a friend posted the lyrics "Wake me up, when September ends" on facebook I immediately thought of you, and went looking for your blog. Wow, kazow! I am so sorry to read about the end of your marriage. I'm just really surprised, but I guess you were, too. I'm just sorry.

I hate to give advice, especially to someone I've never met, but I wish someone would have told me to sell the expensive house, move into something small and cozy, and have money for yoga. Too expensive of houses just aren't good for the soul or the family harmony.

Thinking of you.

Donna said...

It's awfully easy to put stuff out there that you can never reel back in. Give it time. You may never want to share it, and that's cool. Glad you are feeling the school teacher mojo again!

Jill said...

When you read someones daily life it opens you into a place where you support, have empathy,give encouragement and enjoy their lifes joys and share in their sorrows. In turn, it becomes part of your life. You become a story and memory for your reader. So, when reading about more pain you are suffering, it actually affects me as if you were a close friend only a phone call away. And I just want you to know that I am finding myself so angry with Andrew. I question his character. I want to be the head of the Bash Andrew Fan Club, but I know it is not what you need.
I am sorry you are hurting because of the selfishness, thoughtless and cruel person who deserves none of your tears.

Suburban Drudgery said...

I just wanted to send you hugs and prayers. My dad left his first wife and two young children before he met my mom. He never saw those kids again. When he married my mom he had four more children, I was the youngest. He never talked about his other family and we as kids were very curious about our half siblings. My dad was very depressed all the years he was with my mom. He was a horrible alcoholic and miserable with his marriage. He wasn't a very good dad either. I don't know why he left his first family. I don't know why I'm telling you this. May e because my dad did what Andrew did to you. I can't believe he left you. My heart aches for you and the girls.Good bless you.

Polly Snipes said...

I have followed your blog for a long time. I hope things get better soon.

MissyK2525 said...

Jenny-- I think about you often. I ache for what you are going through but am so proud of how you are handling it and doing what is best for you and the girls. I am happy to read you posts (long or short) and hear how you are doing. Keep holding your head up high, you rock!