Friday, November 9, 2012

Just days after I wrote about things before just great in the moment, I got an email right before my 8th period class.  I knew it was coming soon.  I wasn't surprised by it, but it shook me.  Andrew is getting married.  Next weekend in fact.  He and his girlfriend have been together since the Spring and they got a house with my girls and her sons this summer.  She's a kind woman I've met once who seems kind to my children.

I don't love A anymore.  I don't hate him either.  Most days, I no longer think of him beyond if there is something going on with our children.  However, it wasn't easy at first to think of the man I loved for over 16 years of my life becoming someone else's husband.  The man I thought I would grow old with didn't love me.  It's not that he couldn't love--he couldn't love ME.

I haven't written about this because frankly, it's not my story to write about.  Even now, I am trying to keep my opinions (and sure I have more than a few) to myself.

I've adjusted to the news and I'm ok.  Not hurting or upset.  I don't particularly like sharing my children in the manner I do.  I don't like that another woman does mother/daughter type activities with my babies or that they now have another mother figure in their life.  Sweet Maggie informed me that she does not want to call her any kind of Mom type name.  She loves her very much but says that I'm Mama.  I told her very honestly that I appreciate it and I would get my feelings hurt if she did.  I also said I believed her dad would not like it if they ever called Boyfriend any type of dad name.

The most important thing in all this is that my children are happy.  They love their life with me in our home.  They love their life with their dad.  A and I worked very hard to make their lives happy and not stressed from the divorce. 

So, next weekend, A will marry K.  My children will stand by happily and will never know anything but the happiness of it all.  I will escape to the other side of the DFW metroplex for the weekend and stay in Boyfriend's bachelor pad.

Life will continue.  As it always does. 

18 comments:

Dusty said...

Hugs.

Zhohn said...

Wow. Much respect to you!

bearie1 said...

You have handled this bad situation with a lot of grace and, while things will be different, they will be OK. Enjoy your weekend with MM.

bearie1 said...

Just as my comment was posting I thought I should have said "difficult situation", not bad.

Rupa Rao said...

I have nothing but the utmost respect for you and the grace with which you have handled this whole situation is a lesson for all. I'm sure the biggest payoff of your grace will be your kids and pat yourself on the back for the great example that you're setting for them. Kudos to you -- Rupa

Linda said...

I can't imagine that this news or situation is easy for you, but it seems to me that you are dealing with it with integrity and grace. You are setting a great example for your daughters. Good for you. Wishing you peace and fun at the bachelor pad!

One crazed mommy said...

You have handled all of this with such grace! Hugs!

Lyndsay said...

As always, you handle this with such grace and respect. Such a great example you set for your sweet girls.
I'll be sending you peaceful thoughts next weekend.

Cathy said...

When your girls grow up, they will realize the grace and dignity you are showing through this situation, Jenny. I applaud your outlook, your strength and your loving heart for your children. Many women and men who have gone through a divorce (and remarriage) could learn a great deal from you. Hugs.

Stacy said...

Ugh, I can't imagine that would be easy! Sorry! Hugs and good thoughts and prayers for strength to keep moving forward.

Dawn @ Life Unscripted said...

I don't know no you do it Jenny. I seriously would have thrown a big 2 year old temper tantrum through all of it.

I hope I can be strong like you one day.

Keri said...

I'm with dawn. I would be having a temper tantrum of EPIC proportions. It's seems like its awfully soon to be getting married, but whatever.

Your girls will be day realize the dignity and grace you showed them during this time Jenny! Enjoy your weekend with MM ;)

heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tina said...

God bless you and your little ladies. You are a much better woman than I am. I wish you all peace with this (and big hugs).

Mimi said...

You are such a good person.....I don't know how you do it....of course we don't know why/what the divorce was about and it's none of our business.....just want you to know you are such a GREAT person I can't believe that Andrew would ever find anyone as good as you!...Hugs and kisses to you

Lisa said...

I totally, 100% understand this situation and where you are coming from. My daughter's father and I were together almost 10 years. He was re-married within 1.5 years of our split. It's a mix of emotions, why's, what if's and other not so pleasant things. I also, respect but inside despise the fact that another woman is around my daughter (who now has one of her own, a half sister to mine)...we also have totally opposite parenting styles.
It's so tough. Grace will get you through.
HUGS.

Sara said...

You should change your name to Gracious. Seriously.

Robin said...

Totally understandable, how you feel. Not having your children all the time is very difficult (I'm there too) and having to share them with another female, would be incredibly hard. It's only normal to have "feelings" about the remarriage as well....for sure I would also. You'll get through this a stronger person, if that's even possible. Big hugs to you.