Partner in Life

My husband was out of town for two weeks.  I'm used to him having to be gone from time to time, but it is always a little challenging.  I miss him desperately, especially when all we can do is text from time to time in the day.  Mornings are more hectic without his calm guidance of the children, packing of school lunches, and kisses goodbye as he stands at the backdoor to shuffle us out.  Nights are not as good without his cooking (he cooks way better than me!), help with nighttime prayers/bedtime for the girls, and sitting up talking when the kids are *finally* in bed. 

I was a single mom for three years and managed just fine (note--slightly frazzled, a little exhausted, always broke) on my own.  After a year and a half of marriage, I've adjusted to having this partner in my life--best friend, husband, and love.  *Pinch me! 

Thing is, while he was gone, the kids and I did just fine.  Sure, mornings were hectic and we were tardy once.  (Ok, twice--it was the second to last day of school and she forgot her school yearbook for the signing party) We may have had macaroni and cheese once or twice because Mama did not have the time or energy to cook.  I didn't sleep quite as well without him near me.  But, we did ok.

It's not that I NEED him to function.  I'm still independent enough to manage and I'm a good enough mom to handle it all.  I mowed the lawn, hosted playdates, shuffled kids to and from the theatre for performances and rehearsals, watched my girl kick it in karate, took them to church, took kids to the water park, and kept the house from burning down.

I might not need a man, but boy do I ever love the one I've got. 

Negative Mom Thoughts

 What is it about moms that we compare ourselves to others and then decide we don't measure up?  Why do we focus on the negative of our parenting?  I know I have plenty of negatives as a parent--I don't cook frequently for my kids.  I don't make elaborate crafts with them or cut their sandwiches into cool shapes.  I haven't taught my 9 year old how to ride a bike (I've tried a few times and we've both ended up frustrated with the other and gave up).  In the mornings, I rush them and get aggravated when we walk out the door later than we would like.  The list could go on....

Recently, I read something on one of my late night unable to sleep Pinterest binges that really resonated with me.  I was having a particularly challenging evening after a temper tantrum by the five year that left me angry and exhausted.  I was lying in bed thinking negative thoughts about my parenting.  Then, I read this....



WAIT!  I do those things!  Maybe the nutritious lunch isn't in some cool shape, but it is healthy and I regulate how much junk they eat.   Dinner time is rarely anywhere but the kitchen table where we discuss our positives and negatives of the day.  Our date nights with individual girls have been so much fun this year.

Maybe I'm just too hard on myself.   

I don't do everything perfect.  I won't.  This was a good reminder that while I might not always feel like I'm doing everything well (you know, this saying "Behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up"), my kids are getting things that they need from me.  Ultimately, they are loved and I know I am loved back.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only moms who needs this reminder sometimes (PS--Have the tissues ready)