Le Cinquieme

If you haven't noticed, I caved. I'm twittering much to the eye rolling of my spouse. Maybe I'll figure out how to get the messages on my phone. Until now, I'm still not totally sure.

We're having a great weekend with lots of fun times with friends and family. Maggie has been swimming, playing with Luke, and playing with the godchildren too. We're all exhausted but happy.

OK, time for our fifth round of answers. I'm just dragging this out, aren't I?

From Domestic Engineer

Hey Jenny, couldn't resist. You give so much of yourself as a mother, wife, and in your career. If you could give yourself an entire day to induldge without care of cost or consequences, what would you do?

I like this clause--"without care of cost or consequences." I would love a big day of pampering. The works. At some place plush and fancy. Totally decadent with champagne and some fabulous meal in my robe. Sounds like heaven to me.

From Donna
I have often wondered what happened to the book that you were writing about Allie?

I considered writing a book. I tried to write a proposal to take to a book agent. I couldn't get past the first paragraph. Dana and I decided to write a book together. We met to create an outline and idea of what to do. We had a conference call with Tracey (before we had ever met in person and she was still a high school counselor in Rhode Island) to discuss. We procrastinated. We tried to write. And every time we did, we had nothing.

What we realized? We've already written our stories. I wrote and wrote. No, it wasn't a book that could be mass produced, but it is out there. I couldn't rewrite it any way. I couldn't find something that made me want to continue. People still tell me to write a book about Allie, but I don't know that I ever will.

From pipsylou...

What scares you most about having another child?

Gosh, so much scares me. When I first had Allie, I wasn't afraid about much. I knew there were things that could happen. I followed the basic guidelines (baby on the back, avoiding foods, etc), but I didn't stress about the details. Then she got sick and passed away. I was a nervous wreck during Maggie's pregnancy and even more afraid during Maggie's first year of life. Every time she gets sick, Andrew and I have a small panic.

You know, I've had two beautiful incredible little girls that have blessed my life. I am afraid of something else bad happening. I just don't think I could handle it.

What changes have you made in your life that are a direct result of Allie's death?

So much of my life has changed because of Allie. Obviously, the biggest was the career change. I would never have gone into the nonprofit sector had it not been for Allie. Many of my relationships have changed (as you read in Part four's answers).

For me, I look at life in two parts--my life before Allie and my life after her. They are so very different.

From HollyH...

1. what is your favorite color?

Blue

2. favorite flower?

Lillies

3. do you think your faithful readers will be registering for the Heroes for Children 1K/5K as soon as online registration is ready?

Oh how I love that a member of my REGISTRATION committee for the 5K asked a question about registration! Love you, Holly, and totally loving that you are commenting here on the blog. I certainly hope that people register for the 5K. 5K is my favorite event of the year! I love the family friendly feel and the way we honor the families we serve. My favorite part of the event is our balloon release. We release two red heart mylar balloons to represent Taylor and Allie and yellow balloons representing the children we have served from one year to the next. I love this send off and look forward to it each year.

This year's event is especially significant for me. It's scheduled for Saturday, September 13th. The anniversary of Allie's death. As we call that "Allie Day" and try our best to do something fun with Maggie, this is so perfect for us. What a great way to honor Allie and have a great Allie Day.

Registration is open now! If you are in the Metroplex area, please join us for this great event in September!

From c...

Do you have any advice for a nurse entering the pediatric hematology/oncology field?

Never lose your compassion. Yes, you have to be guarded with your emotions as this is a tough field that can be emotionally draining. But always remember that these families need compassion. They need to feel like their child is a priority and not just another patient. They need to know that you are doing your best to make sure their child is well provided for.

Something that has stuck with me was the fact that they always told us that while Allie only had a less than 20% chance of survival, they were going to treat her like she was 110% to live. They said that while they were treatment protocols for cancer patients, she was still important. And that while it was not the first time they have ever treated a child with AML, it was the first time they had ever treated ALLIE. She wasn't a number, wasn't a statistic. She was a child, and they always remembered that. And as a parent, I can't thank them enough.

From Shannon...

Do you ever wish you had gone back to teaching? Will you ever return to your former passion?

There are times I miss it. I had dinner with two former students a little over a week ago and left a little sad. I loved teaching and loved being with the kids. But, I consider that a part of my life that is no longer the path I am following. I may return to teaching in some form, but I doubt it will be in the traditional classroom sense.

For now, I'm very content with my role and career with Heroes for Children. I love what I do for living and I wouldn't change it at all. This is where I am meant to be right now.

From Kelly...

What is your favorite place to shop for Miss Maggie?

I love to shop for Maggie! She is such a little cutie and everything looks great on her. Those curls, oh, melt my heart! I probably shop the most for her at Children's Place both for the price and the sizing. Their clothes run smaller so they seem to fit Maggie better. And their prices definitey fit in my budget!

What ways to you find to make special time for your faithful pooch Brandie?

I make time for Brandy every day. She is my little love and definitely my dog. What makes her happiest is if I get on the floor with her. She loves to curl up on the floor with me. She just wants a little extra love and attention, with a rub behind her ears. I'm happy to oblige. I just love that sweet dog!

From Carolein...

The other day was the first I saw of anything mentioned of Baby Searcy. When is Amy due? Does she know what she's having?

We're thrilled that Maggie is getting yet another Searcy cousin!! The baby was a happy surprise that we are anticipating the first week of November. Amie and Michael have never found out the sex of their children before their births. However, they are going to find out this time as big sister Isabella is requesting it. We should know soon!

Your favorite vacation ever?

Rome. 2002. Our first big vacation that we took the two of us. Our honeymoon was a trip to San Antonio (my father was dying and we were young and poor!). We had the best time that trip. I remember us darn near limping at the end of the trip since we walked that entire city. That is my all time favorite vacation with Andrew.

How you chose both of your daughters names and what names you like for any future children (believe me, not pressing on asking when the next one is coming....I get too much of that myself and my little guy is turning 3 in a couple of weeks!).

I answered the question about Maggie and Allie's name in Part I of this. As for future children--our boy name has been chosen since I was first pregnant with Allie. She would have been Drew. Maggie would have been Drew. If we ever have a boy, it will be Drew--Winfield Andrew Scott, IV. If we have another girl, my current top choice for a girl is Katy. Short for Katherine (as you know I like names that have both a long and short version).

Looks like Part Six is in our future!

I'm off to bed!