Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Maggie love

Thanks to all the comments from my last blog entry. I realize most
days that it is just a phase. When she has both parents with her, she
chooses him each and every time. It gets the better of me, and it
certainly did when I wrote this blog entry.

Should I cut back my work hours? Sure. But my job has peaks and
valleys when it comes how busy we are. After tomorrow night, I dont
have a night meeting until May 20th (yippee!!).

Andrew and I having been talking a lot about Maggie and I having time
without him. They have more of that because of my work schedule. That
doesn't mean that Maggie and I dont have our time. Mornings are ours.
I love our mornings(once she is willing to accept that sweet daddy is
not on the house).

We're trying to set up more Maggie and Me time. Last night we went on
a girls only walk to the park and ponds in our neighborhood. We spent
over two hours out together laughing, playing and watching a family of
baby ducks. I loved every solitary second and she seemed to enjoy it
too. She told Andrew all about it when we got back and she crawled in
his lap.

All this to say that I appreciate all the comments made. It helped me
see the bigger picture. Thanks to Tracey for reminding me that yes, I
am a good mother. I'm hard on myself and I'm allowing this phase
effect me more than it should. Thank you for reminding me of that.

6 comments:

mrsvanoven said...

I missed your post yesterday, but I'm so sorry you're going through this with Maggie! It doesn't matter if it's a phase or not, I'm sure it stings.

One thing to be thankful for (and I know you are) but Andrew is such a great dad. Nick is an amazing dad, too, but sometimes I feel like I'm twisting his arm to turn off the TV and play with the kids, or get his butt out of bed, quit playing viedo games, etc. Yet the prospect of golfing or going out with buddies and he's all over it.

You're such a great mom, and there will come the day when Maggie is all about boys and nail polish, and then further down the road it will be babies and husbands, and you'll be her best friend.

I was a HUGE Daddy's Girl growing up, but now I call my mom every single day about kids, the husband, dieting, etc.

Sorry so long!

Rach

Lyndsay said...

Hi Jenny,
Do you have any advice for those of us who are in Andrew's shoes? My daughter and husband have a GREAT time together... as long as I am not around. If my daughter has the choice of me or daddy - it's all about me. (Which is great, but I do feel bad for my husband). You mentioned appreciating that Andrew is involved in the discipline when Maggie hits/is mean to you - I try to do that too. I try to show her how she's hurting daddy's feelings. Anything else I could be/should be doing?

Jen said...

Jenny
I am sorry I am late coming in on this. My kids much prefer me to their dad and I honestly don't know how he stands it. My son - the youngest is the worst- my daughter was actually doing great showing some daddy love until sibling rivlary kicked in. He actually just recently has made some strides with my son. Who now exclaims happily when he sees his dad and ever so often picks him to do something over me. I wanted to share a really easy and silly trick we did. It may have been because we have 2 kids but my son's strong preference for me quickly got into my husband doing most things for my daughter and me doing everything for my son. It worked but their relationship wasn't getting any better. So I started having my hubby get our son out the car while I went to our daughter. I think silly little things like that helped even the playing field. My husband is probably inarguable the better parent- he is truly so much of how I would like to be and I think my kids are nuts to not prefer him. But it is what it is. You guys have it worse since you feel about Andrew the way I do about my husband and Maggie is picking right up on it. I hope she shows you some love soon it will probably make you and Andrew both so happy.

PS I dont' think it is working or hours at work- my husband says and I beleive this was true that it was like this for my son at birth. They had to take him from my arms because he wasn't crying after bith because he was so happy to be in my arms. It has been that way ever since

Minivan Mom said...

Anytime girlfriend.

Anytime.

Jenny said...

Lyndsay--Andrew is so supportive about this. I razz him a little about being the cool parent that is more loved, but really, I am so appreciative with how he handles the situation with Maggie.

The big thing he does is time-outs. If she gets mad at me and hits, throws, or pushes, he will place her in the timeout. It doesn't work when I do because it just makes me out to be the bad parent and him the hero. But he shows her that he will not tolerate it.

He will also tell her things like, "Wow, go show that to Mama!" or "Go help Mama" to encourage her to be with me when we're all together (it is much worse when we are all three together. She is better when he isn't around). He always speaks positively about me to her and hugs me a lot when she is looking.

Finally, he is great about putting his foot down when she doesn't want me to do something. For example, if I go to put on her shoes and she yells "My Dada do it!" he will not step in and do it. He will firmly tell her that Mama will do it. The other night, she wanted to get out of her highchair. I was up and close by, so I went to go and help her out. She immediately pushed me away and yelled for Daddy to step in a get her out of the highchair. He refused. She had to sit for an extra few minutes, but she finally conceded to let me get her out.

It really makes a difference that I have such a supportive husband in this situation.

Mom Of 3 said...

Jenny,
It is sometimes very hard to be the "not as fun Parent", I have that problem now. As a mom it hurts I know. You are a great mom, and Miss Maggie is so luck to have you. This too shall pass, and you will be her best friend.