An example from this morning--during snuggle time with all of us in our bed, I told Maggie that I was going to hug Daddy. "No, mine!!" as she shoved my face away and hugged her Daddy as tight as possible. So, then Andrew professed that he loved me and wanted to give Mama a big hug. Did she tell him "No, mine?" and hug me?? Heck no! Instead, she hugged him and said, "well, I love Dada! No, Mama!"
It doesn't help that I have had night meetings and workout times at the gym that have taken me away from home. The Mom Guilt? Yeah, it hit an all time high this week. I had a bit of a meltdown (spurred by "My baby hates me!" talk to Andrew). So this weekend? I shut down from work, even avoiding talking about it with Andrew, and we've made it family weekend! We've been to the Wiggly Playcenter, gymnastics, shopping, out to dinner, the park, and if weather cooperates with us this morning, we're going to spend a few hours at Six Flags to play in the kids area (Andrew bought us cheap season passes).
But, knowing Maggie and how things have gone this week, I won't be riding any of the rides with her. She'll probably just want her Daddy.
11 comments:
It's that damn Electra complex.
I SWEAR to you it's not because you work. She'll come out of it...just keep in mind that there will likely be another go-round in adolescence when she is going through the whole identity building thing.
Hey Jenny-
Just wanted to give you some reassurance, as someone who was exactly like Maggie in that dept that, like Tracey said, she will come out of it- My mom and I are super close, even after a year of "me telling her what" at age 2. Just hang in there ;) She'll realize what a great mom she's got soon enough
My daughter has gone through the same thing (she's just a few months older than Maggie). My niece has also gone through it too (she's a month or so younger than Maggie). Trust me it's normal. I think spending the weekend doing family stuff might help (or at least it will make YOU feel better). For Maggie...it will just take time.
The other day my daughter and I were driving and she (out of nowhere) said "I don't like you Mommy." WOW ...did THAT hurt! I said back to her "Well, I love you Jenna. I love to take you to the park, the zoo, your friends house, I love to hug you and kiss you and read stories to you at night." She paused for a second and said. "I love you too Mommy."
I think at this age they are just testing their boundaries and with Mommy...they just know that no matter how mean they are to you, Mommy will ALWAYS love them.
Good luck and have a good weekend!
I don't remember how this got started, but I think Nathan must have said to me one night at bedtime "I don't love you!" for something I had done to him. I looked him in the eye like I was stunned and said "WHAT??? You don't love me??? Are you sure about that?" and started ticking the heck out of him and giving him the Gestapo treatment--say it, SAY IT, SAY YOU LOVE ME!!! Pretty soon he was gasping and laughing and all was forgiven. But somehow he decided this was going to be part of our routine and now when I say I love you after our bedtime snuggle, he will say with a sly voice, "But I don't love you..." and the tickling begins. He actually gets annoyed with me if I am too tired to play along.
She will grow out of it as your other wise mommies have said. But you never know what you can accomplish when you catch them off guard. :0)
My 3.5 year old has been a Daddy's girl from day one. I remember her at about Maggie's age wanting nothing to do with me! Now she only wants to spend time with Mommy and wants nothing to do with Daddy. Try not to feel bad I'm sure it's just a phase. :-)
Just had to write and tell you that I can relate to your blog entry. I went through the same thing when my daughter was Maggie's age. I too felt the working mommy guilt and still have times of that now that my daughter is 4. I know it hurts but my husband would tell you that it does go the other way too eventually.
same thing happened to my daughter except the other way....she only wnated her mommy...broke her daddy's heart...then she went through a stage she wanted the one one who left....not matter which one was home if the other one left she cryed for them...so hang on this stage won't last for long then you will be going on to the next stage....lol
I feel ya on the mommy guilt! I get that all the time!! It's hard being a mom, so much is expected of us!! (((hugs)))
Welcome to that club! LOL My 4.5 year old who I have stayed home with her entire life snubs me for her dad ALL.THE.TIME...
I am a fun mom ;) I do way more fun things that her Dad does with her but evidently she doesn't see that..
Try not to take it personal. We just have Daddy's girls and she would do this same thing even if you were home with her all day..
It does stink though :)
My son is 4 and has always been a Daddys Boy. Only daddy can put him to bed. Only daddy can give him a bath. And during the day he will tell me that he wants me to go to work and daddy to stay home. All I can say is I hope to GOD that they outgrow this eventually and realize that their words hurt. He will tell me that he doesnt love and I tell him that it hurts me when he says that.
Welcome to the club... its a lonely lonely club.
I'm sure your getting a lot of this but my youngest boy did the exact same thing to me. No kisses, no hugs, no way. And we had the he hates me talks and breakdowns and though it seemed like forever looking back it wasn't that long. They both still would rather hold dad's hand or play with dad (majority of the time) but I am the main caretaker so maybe their just bored with me. I steal hugs and kisses anyway... :-)
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